


Nostalgia Critic meets the FanFic Critic

by RurrlockGodOfPower



Category: That Guy with the Glasses/Channel Awesome
Genre: Banter, Crossover, Family, Fanfiction, Friendship, Gen, Gun Violence, Innuendo, Mild Language, Nostalgia, Threats
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-08
Updated: 2017-06-08
Packaged: 2018-11-11 07:34:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11143809
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RurrlockGodOfPower/pseuds/RurrlockGodOfPower
Summary: To help with his new episode, the Nostalgia Critic seeks out the assistance of the FanFic Critic, who is suffering from a lack of confidence at the moment. As the two finally meet, they soon discover that all fan work including art and stories across the world are disappearing. So now, they are the only ones who can find out what is going on and save Fandom.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing (unfortunately); all rights and characters in this fic belong to Doug Walker, Megan Wessels and other respective owners and creators. I gain no profit from this; it's purely for fun.
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter and want to know more about my work, you can like the Rurrlock-God of Power Facebook Page.

**Chapter 1**

Malcolm and Tamara stepped through the front door, their raincoats dripping wet from the storm going on from outside the building. The rain had been nonstop for a few hours now and showed no sign of slowing anytime soon. Thankfully, they would be filming a new editorial episode today, and so will be sheltered from the torrential downpour.

Tamara pulled back her hood and shivered as she unzipped her coat. ''Jeez, crappy day, huh?''

''You could say that again,'' Malcolm said as he piled his and Tamara's coats onto the sofa close by. He turned to his friend. ''Did Critic tell you what we would be filming today?''

''Nope.''

''That's weird. He normally tells us at least a week in advance so we can get our life insurance ready. This time I'll be covered in case I get attacked by another firebender!''

''They have insurance for that?''

_**THUD! THUD! THUD!** _

The two of them stopped immediately as soon as they heard the repeating sound echoing around the room. ''You hear that?'' Tamara asked.

Malcolm nodded. ''Yeah, sounds like it's coming from the room next door!''

They stared at the open door at the end of the room, just about able to see a shadow coming in and out of view on the wall. It didn't give them a better idea of what was making that sound. The two stood still for the moment, waiting to see if anything else would happen. However, the sound continued to go on and on.

''You think that's the Critic?'' Tamara inquired.

''I don't think so. He wouldn't have started filming without us.''

''I wouldn't put it past him,'' She mumbled cynically under her breath. Then another possibility dawned on her. ''What if someone broke into the building and is stealing our equipment?''

Malcolm gulped worriedly. ''Maybe?''

''Go check it out!''

''Okay,'' He took one step forward, then pulled back and looked at Tamara like she was a mad woman. ''What? Why me? What if it's a thief?''

''You're the one who says he's got the life insurance!''

''That…'' Malcolm was unable to think of any good verbal response to get him out of Tamara's argument. So he did the next thing that came to mind…he sprinted towards the closest window in the room and dived out of it, leaving Tamara alone with the continuing banging sound.

She sighed heavily. ''Fine, I'll go check!''

_**THUD! THUD! THUD!** _

Tamara advanced slowly and quietly towards the open door, ready for something to jump out and attack her. Step by step, she got closer to the door and the sound continued. When she finally reached the door, she pushed it open slightly more and peered inside, expecting to find something other than what was really making the noise. ''Critic?''

_**THUD! THUD! THUD!** _

Standing at the wall was the Nostalgia Critic, continually banging his head hard against the wall. His hat was discarded on the floor, and a sheet of paper was crumbled in his hands. After a second or two, he responded to Tamara's call by finally moving away from the wall and slowly turning to face her, a bright, red spot forming on his forehead. ''Oh, hey Tamara.'' He greeted dizzily, clearly not in the best of states after that never-ending assault on himself.

''What are you doing?''

He reached for his hat and placed it back over his head before stumbling towards her, his legs wobbling like jelly. ''Oh, just getting myself mentally prepared for this week's editorial!''

''It's that bad?''

''Take a look for yourself!'' Critic responded as he handed her the crumpled sheet of paper. She took it curiously, wondering how bad the subject was if it could get a reaction like this from the Internet Reviewer. As she read the script, Critic swayed about, trying to regain composure and balance. ''Has anyone ever told you that in blurry vision you look like Haley Joel Osman?'' He asked.

Just then, Malcolm stepped into the room, completely drenched from head to toe after escaping through the window and back outside. ''I forgot about the rain.'' He commented as he tried to rinse the water out of his clothes.

''Then why didn't you take a coat?'' Critic questioned.

''I di…never mind.'' Malcolm tilted his head, and water poured from his ears onto the ground. While doing that, he noticed the script that Tamara was still reading. ''What's that?''

''Critic's editorial episode script,'' She answered. ''And today he's talking about…50 Shades of Grey?''

As soon as those words passed her lips, the Nostalgia Critic let out a bellowing scream of anger and frustration that nearly made Tamara and Malcolm jump out of their skins. The rage burned from his face so forcefully, that it started to turn bright red. ''I thought if I hit my head on the wall enough times I would forget about how bad that book is!''

''So I'm guessing you're not fond of the story?'' She asked.

''Story? What story? It's nothing more than a poorly written, uninspired, unforgivable piece of illiterate horse puke! How did this thing become so popular? _I_ could have written it! And then I would be a multi-millionaire sensation right this second! But instead, I'm here in this building talking about it became so successful, all while Day After Tomorrow is going on outside!'' He paused his rant to take a breather and placed his hands on Tamara and Malcolm's shoulders. ''So in answer to your question…no! I'm not fond of this _story_ at all!''

Finally, Malcolm had managed to clear his ear of the water. He lifted his head back up and stared at the Critic innocently. ''Sorry, I had water in my ear; I didn't hear a single thing you said. Could you say it again?''

''I'm starting to consider hitting _your_ head against the wall!'' Critic threatened.

Before the NC could carry out his threat though, Tamara lowered the script she was reading and looked at the fuming critic. ''You do realise you're missing a bit of important information about the book?''

''What? That's impossible! I'll have you know that I put a lot of effort into my painstaking internet surfing to make sure that my reviews and editorials are as reliable and accurate as possible!''

''Is that why you got the name of the villain in 'The Purge' wrong?'' She pointed out sarcastically.

''I'm now considering hitting both of your heads against the wall!''

''You forgot the mention the fact that 50 Shades started off as a fanfiction story!'' She said.

Critic looked at her with a puzzled expression. ''Really?'' He then chuckled to himself. ''No wonder the writing's terrible!''

''Oh come on, not all fanfiction is bad!''

''Tamara, whenever you become as popular as me, not that you ever will considering how amazing I am, and you have dozens upon dozens of smutty wet dreams worded down on the Internet for all to see…I want you to try and tell me that not all fanfiction is bad!''

She sighed at Critic's ignorance. ''Okay, I'm not going to act like there aren't some pretty terrible works out there, but surely you must have seen some good fanfiction stories?''

''I wouldn't know!''

''What? You haven't read any fanfiction stories at all?''

''Nope!''

''Then how do you know they're bad?''

''The fanart that usually comes with it gives me a clear enough warning!'' He turned away from the two and started walking over to his desk and camera in the corner of the room. ''Now if you'll excuse me, I have an editorial to make…not that I'm rushing to start work on it, but I have viewers to entertain.''

''Aren't you going to mention the fanfiction history?'' Tamara asked.

Malcolm continued afterwards with his own statement. ''Yeah, won't the viewers get mad at you for leaving out that information?''

Critic waved his hand at them disinterestedly. ''Oh please, when do people on the internet ever get mad at someone for missing a little bit of information and bending the facts…'' He stopped mid-sentence as he really began to think about what he was saying. Realising that what he said would in fact happen, he threw his fists about in frustration. ''Goddamn it! You know, you two are very terrible work colleagues for making me put in that little extra bit of effort to make sure my videos are as accurate and credible as they can be!''

''We do our best!'' Tamara said cheerfully.

Critic groaned with annoyance and rubbed the bridge of his nose beneath the rim of his glasses. ''Well, this is going to be a problem. Because unless you two have an Encyclopaedia on all there is to know about fanfiction, I'm completely clueless about the subject!''

''Can't you just ask someone on the site to help?'' Malcolm probed.

''No! Bennet hasn't done his fanfiction show in years! Nostalgia Chick is out of the country promoting her new book! And Linkara, the slacker he is, is busy trying to save our universe from inter-dimensional Gods and beings that plan to destroy all of existence. I'm starting to think about deducting his pay for every time that happens.''

''Maybe you can find someone who's not on the site…'' Tamara started to suggest until an idea materialised in her mind so quickly a light bulb shone over her head.

''Hey guys, I found the light bulb prop, and it works!'' Malcolm commented as he held the working prop over Tamara's head. She stared at him intensely. He pulled his arm away and threw the light bulb to the side. ''Sorry.''

After glaring at Malcolm, she turned to face the Critic. ''I have heard of someone on YouTube who reviews bad fanfiction stories. I know you like to do the editorial episodes yourself, but I think she can help you a lot, especially with a subject you don't know much about yourself.''

He huffed and pressed his head into the palm of his hands, thinking over Tamara's suggestion. She was right, he did normally prefer keeping the editorial episodes to himself, and even if it were just a normal review, he couldn't remember the last one he did with anyone who wasn't part of his website. He would be charging into unfamiliar territory. But, he knew that he was going to keep getting bugged about it until he agreed to go through with it, so sucking up his dignity, he turned to Tamara and forced a smile. ''Okay, I'll talk with this person. What's their name?''

''I think she's called The FanFic Critic!'' She answered.

Hearing that, he scoffed mockingly. ''Oh, how imaginative, having the thing you're reviewing and just adding the word critic at the end of it.''

''But, you…'' Neither of them had time to respond to his comment, as Critic marched past them and headed for the front door. ''Wait, how are you even going to find her?''

The Nostalgia Critic turned to look at them as he reached for a coat that lay on the sofa, gracefully putting it on as he answered them. ''I'm going to find her as I would any person I have never met before and have no clue on their whereabouts the only way I know how…look in a phonebook and pray it's not too far away!''

''Um…'' Malcolm stuttered. ''Critic, that's my coat!''

''Well, unlike you, I'm not stupid enough to go out into the rain without one.''

* * *

_**Elsewhere…** _

The FanFic Critic moaned loudly and placed her head on the table, her fist lightly pounding on it as she continued to stare at her computer, with a word document open and blank. It was like it was mocking her, taunting her over her lack of inspiration. She started tapping her fingers on the table as if that would help.

Before long, her identical-looking cousin, Susan, stepped into the room with a cup of tea in hand. ''Do I want to ask why you're attempting to start a one-woman band?''

''What?'' FanFic Critic groaned in confusion.

''The moaning, the hand banging and the fingers tapping the table, it's like you're trying to wake the bloody dead,'' Susan commented as she pulled up a chair and sat next to her disgruntled relative. ''What's the matter?''

FanFic Critic sat up straight, her back clicking a little as she outstretched her arms and gave her cousin a mystified expression. ''I honestly don't know. It's like I'm in a rut! I want to read and review something for another episode…but at the same time, I don't feel like it. If that makes any sense.''

''It does,'' Susan said sympathetically. ''Everyone gets like that.''

''Yeah, well, I want to get out of it!''

''Have you even found a fanfic you want to review?''

''No.'' She responded, leaning her head into her hand that was propped up on the table. The brightness of the blank document forced her to look away. She grabbed her glasses and using the sleeve of her jacket rubbed the lenses. Suddenly, she groaned even harder in frustration, startling Susan. ''See!'' She said while pointing to her glasses.

''What?''

''I'm doing everything except my show! I'm twiddling my fingers, or cleaning my glasses! I'm out of the house, or feeding my cats! Talking with my friends and going on Tumblr. I feel like I've created this barrier between myself and fanfiction.''

''And do you know why you created that wall? What was the last story you reviewed?''

The FanFic Critic took a few seconds to remember, trying to recollect what happened in her last review, but her mind was blank like the word document in front of her that was supposed to contain her next script. ''I can't even remember, I know it was bad.''

''How bad?''

''I laid on my bed for six hours straight and felt so much like I was in a comatose state that I didn't even realise one of my cats was sitting on my face until it turned blue.''

Although she never liked it when her cousin was in discomfort, Susan couldn't help but grin slightly as the mental image of a feline sitting on FanFic Critic's face as she just lay there. Noticing the grin, she glared back at Susan, who merely returned another compassionate look. ''Oh come now, don't get yourself in a strop. It's never good for the both of us. Tell you what, how about I take the next review?''

''I don't know, maybe,'' FanFic Critic pondered. ''I don't see any problem with it. As long as you don't suddenly announce my retirement, I can let you take the reigns for a bit.''

''Oh please, if I wanted you to retire, I would have had you stop doing this show a long time ago. Besides, I know how much you love doing this show!''

''Then why can't I do it _now?''_ The frustrated reviewer stepped out of her seat and began to pace around her room as Susan moved closer to the computer.

''You don't have any stories scheduled for the next one, do you?''

FanFic Critic shook her head. ''Just go online and find something that interests you.'' Trying to find some time for herself, she reached into her drawer and pulled her retracted, Sweeney Todd razor blade and wiggled it between her fingers. Reaching her bed, she sat on the edge and looked up at her ceiling, trying to look deep within herself to find some motivation. She's had blocks before, plenty of times, but never like this. For some reason, that spark just hasn't been with her for days, and it worried her.

Her moment of peace and quiet didn't last long though, as Susan turned to look at her, a bewildered expression plastered over her face. ''Uh, Critic…there's no stories.''

''Susan, it's fanfiction! You're going to find something.''

''No, I mean there's no stories at all! They don't come up in the search bar. It's like they've disappeared! Look!'' She moved to the side, showing off the computer screen to her cousin.

FanFic Critic folded her razor and then placed it into her jacket pocket, picked herself up off the bed and walked over to the computer, not sure what to expect. Looking carefully at the screen, she looked at every little word and detail to make sure that what she was seeing was genuine. The search engine had yielded no results for the word 'fanfiction' at all. She took control and tried to type in every single Fanfiction website she could remember into the bar, hoping to find something, but every page she looked at came with the dreaded 404 error image…an internet-goer's worst enemy. ''I think my computer's just acting up again.''

_**RING! RING!** _

FanFic Critic's phone started to ring in her pocket. As Susan continued to work the computer, the critic pulled out her phone and answered. ''Hello?''

'' _Hey! Where have you been? I've been trying to reach you for hours now!''_ The frantic voice of her good friend, ArcangelAssassin, came from the other side.

''Well, I'm here now, so what's up?''

'' _What's up is that fanfiction is completely disappearing from the world!''_

The FanFic Critic stood with a blank expression on her face and remained silent as she tried to take in those words. ''I think I misheard you, it just sounded like you just said fanfiction is completely disappearing from the world!''

'' _That's exactly what I said! Everyone is commenting about it, every single fanfiction story that has ever been written is just vanishing without a trace!''_

''How can something just vanish from the Internet? Did our government pass one of those stupid bills that we've stopped about a hundred times now?''

'' _I wouldn't put it past them. But this is the really troubling part; it's not just fanfiction stories! Fanart, fan films, anything associated with fan-made works is disappearing! Fandom itself is dying!''_

It was almost impossible to believe, how can something so widespread like the power of fandom disappear completely in just a few hours? However, once it fully registered in the FanFic Critic's brain the full extent of what her friend had just said, a grim look darkened over her. ''Wait a minute! Everything associated with fan works is disappearing too?''

'' _Yeah,''_ Arcangel said bleakly.

''You mean like my…''

Before she could even finish her sentence, she felt a hand poke her on the shoulder, and she turned to see Susan's perplexed look. ''Critic, I don't know how you tell you this, but…''

''All my videos are gone, aren't they?'' Susan nodded, confirming FanFic Critic's worst fears. How can things possibly get any worse?

_**KNOCK! KNOCK!** _

A loud banging came from the front door. The two of them looked at each other, waiting to see if either one would say they were expecting someone to visit, neither had anything to say. Without a moment's hesitation, the two of them rushed towards the front door, wondering if it was someone they knew who came by to deliver the belated news about what was going on to the worldwide fandom community.

FanFic Critic was the first to reach the door, and opened it slightly, completely bamboozled when she saw who it was standing there, completely drenched from the still on-going heavy rain and panting heavily.

''Wait!'' Nostalgia Critic huffed. ''I'm not a Jehovah's Witness! I'm not here to sell anything! I'm not here to help with the flooding in your basement! All I want to do is find someone, so please for the love of God tell me you're the FanFic Critic because I can't handle seeing another door slam in my face!''

''Uh…'' FanFic Critic hesitated to answer, partially in disbelief at seeing the Nostalgia Critic standing at her front door and the other part still trying to comprehend the missing fanfiction situation. The heavy puffing of the soaked Critic brought her out of her thoughts. ''I am the FanFic Critic.''

''Oh, thank God!'' Nostalgia Critic wheezed.

''Did you walk all the way here?'' Susan asked him as if he was the biggest moron in existence.

''The address in the phonebook didn't sound that far away. Damn it, Jim. I'm a critic, not a geographer!''

While FanFic Critic was curious as to why he was here, she couldn't take her mind off what had become of her videos and the rest of fandom's works around the world. ''I'm sorry, but this is a really bad time and something's come up…''

Without even giving her a chance to explain herself, the Nostalgia Critic barged past the two and into the shelter of their home. ''Look, I'm sure you have problems, but they can't be nearly as important as my own.''

''Try me.'' She challenged.

''I've come to you so that you can give me info that I could learn myself, but I can't be bothered. Why should I have the time to research something when I can just ask someone who already knows?''

''Was it worth it?''

''Walk from here to my house and then you'll have the answer!'' He retorted, still trying to catch his breath.

''Okay, I would really like to help you, but a very big issue has come up that could jeopardise my reviewing career forever! Whatever you have going on, you can tell me about it afterwards.''

''No way, sister!'' Nostalgia Critic said harshly. ''I've come too far to be stopped now. I think we should be reasonable and remember the fact that I'm an A-list internet celebrity while you're a…internet person, and therefore I should be getting more attention right now!''

Before FanFic Critic could reply, her cousin had a few choice words of her own. ''Bloody wanker.''

Hearing this, the Nostalgia Critic scowled at her. ''Hey, if you're going to insult me, then say it in English!''

''Enough!'' FanFic Critic shouted, stopping the two from bickering further. The two did exactly that, as she tried to loosen the tension building up inside her. ''I can see that I'm not going to be able to talk you into believing me, so how about I just show you?''

Thankfully for her, there were no more comments from the new arrival, as she showed him to her computer and he saw first-hand what was going on with every piece of fan-work that had been displayed on the net. ''So everything is disappearing?'' He questioned.

''Everything! Including her videos!'' Susan commented as she scrolled through the pages on the computer, hoping to come across at least one site that showed any fan-related work. But nothing came up, and this troubled FanFic Critic more and more, as she continued to pace about the room. Susan turned sternly towards the Nostalgia Critic. ''I do believe you owe my cousin an apology for trying to suggest your problem was bigger than hers!''

Instead of doing as instructed, he flapped his arm nonchalantly and marched away from her. ''It's probably nothing. Your search engine must be looked over by Cyber-Monks. It's like the kiss of death, no hope for ye who enter!''

FanFic Critic approached him. ''I had a call from a friend of mine, this is happening with others searching for it as well.''

Nostalgia Critic shrugged his shoulders impatiently. ''Well, maybe this is a sign that you should move onto other hobbies. Is losing all fanfiction on Earth really such a bad thing?''

''Of course, it's a bad thing!'' She stated strongly. ''There are people who put a lot of time and energy into their writing and artwork!''

''Ha!'' He ridiculed. ''I've seen people put more time and energy in trying to make Shaquille O'Neal seem like a good actor.''

Susan raised her hand to get their attention. ''You must admit, his cameo in Scary Movie 3 was funny.''

''Okay, that got a smirk off of me at best!'' Nostalgia Critic responded to her before diverting his attention back on FanFic Critic. ''I am on a very tight schedule here! I came to find you because I'm doing a 50 Shades video…''

''You're doing a video about 50 Shades of Grey?''

''Don't remind me! And I came to find you because everyone says that I have to mention fanfiction because it was a fanfiction story first, and I just wanted to shut them up about it so they can stop mentioning fanfiction to me!''

''What is your problem with fanfiction?''

''It's just…so…so…'' He paused over and over again, trying to think of the right word to describe his disgust towards fanfiction in as accurate way as possible.

Sensing his discomfort, FanFic Critic tried to tackle the subject from another angle. ''Okay, I get where you're coming from. Trust me, I've been doing this for years, there are plenty of bad stories to the point where I've killed myself…''

''Really? How did you come back?''

Once again, Susan drew his notice. ''I brought her back with the Dragonballs.''

''You have those?'' He asked like an excited little schoolboy who just heard about a brand new chocolate factory opening. However, he regained focus and his expression was firm. ''We're getting off topic here, will you help me with my video? Please!''

The FanFic Critic was about to think the offer over; really she was in no right state of mind to handle this childish behaviour right now. But she didn't get the chance to think of an answer, as Susan yet again got their attention. ''Nostalgia Critic,'' She spoke ominously. ''You're videos are gone too!''

''What?'' Nostalgia Critic screamed so loud it made the room shake. He rushed towards the computer, shoving Susan out of the way and looked at the webpage that was meant to host his website, only to find his videos and the videos of other reviewers gone. ''Why the hell are my videos gone?''

''Maybe because your videos have clips from the movies you review, it counts as fan-made!'' FanFic Critic theorised.

Susan agreed with her cousin's hypothesis. ''Copyright can be a right bloody bitch sometimes.''

''My words exactly.'' FanFic Critic followed up.

Her theory had fallen on deaf ears though, as the Nostalgia Critic was too overcome with the shock of seeing his work gone before his very eyes. ''No…no…it's not true! It's impossible! Everything that I've worked on over the years! This is my livelihood! What do I do if I can't review bad, nostalgic movies? Would I have to find another job? I can't do that; I wouldn't be able to cope! Do you know how hard it is for a heterosexual, white, male to find a credible job in this society? I'll be eaten alive!''

In an attempt to calm down the panicking maniac, FanFic Critic gently patted him on the back and pulled him away from the computer. ''Critic, we'll sort this out. We'll find whoever is responsible for this, and fix this problem.''

''How do we know someone is behind this?'' Susan inquired.

''Someone has to be! This can't be just a random event. Someone has to be behind a keyboard and hitting the delete button somewhere!''

After finally calming down to an extent, the Nostalgia Critic took a deep breath and made an effort to present a tranquil posture. ''Is there any way we may be able to track the person behind this?''

''Actually,'' Susan started before rushing over to the computer and typing away at the keyboard faster than you could say Matrix. Nostalgia Critic and FanFic Critic peered over her shoulders, trying to see what she was working on. ''I've got it! Whoever is doing this isn't deleting the fan work instantly like we guessed, they're actually absorbing it. Sucking it away like a hoover with dust, and I can follow the codes and it'll lead us to the location of the person behind this.''

FanFic Critic looked at her cousin in a very impressed manner. ''Wow, Susan, when did you become an expert hacker.''

''It's a British thing.''

Nostalgia Critic stared at her. ''You're British? I thought you were Australian?''

''Oh my!'' Susan yelled exasperated. ''Why do so many people get those two accents mixed up? Do I have to sing _'God Saves the Queen'_ just to…''

''Location! Now! Please!'' FanFic Critic interrupted Susan's rant.

Her infuriated cousin turned back to the computer. ''Fine!'' She searched for a location while muttering some inaudible grumbles in between. Soon enough, she had the exact location of where the fan work was being sent to and quickly had a position. She printed it out on a small piece of paper and handed it to FanFic Critic.

''Thanks, I'll go with Nostalgia Critic and we'll take care of the rest. You stay back and call me if the fanfiction stories return.'' Susan nodded at the plan, while the female reviewer turned to Nostalgia Critic. ''I promise when all this is over, I will help with whatever you need. But right now, I would feel much better if I had back-up.''

''Oh, don't worry, I have a very special friend I wanted to introduce to our video thief,'' He said with a hint of a sadistic tone before pulling out a gun from his back pocket. ''This is handgun, and he also has a couple of smaller friends who would also like to get acquainted with him. And by friends I mean bullets!''

''You know, you can be pretty scary sometimes!'' FanFic Critic said.

''I think of myself more pretty _and_ scary!''

**To Be Continued...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, you can follow my original stories on Wattpad. My penname is Thomas-LF. Thank you for your time, if you do read them, I hope you enjoy them.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing (unfortunately); all rights and characters in this fic belong to Doug Walker, Megan Wessels and other respective owners and creators. I gain no profit from this; it's purely for fun.
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter and want to know more about my work, you can like the Rurrlock-God of Power Facebook Page.

**Chapter 2**

''Are you sure this is the place?'' Nostalgia Critic asked as both he and FanFic Critic stood at the mouth of a dark cave.

''This is where Susan says all the fan work is heading. Let's go.'' The two of them wasted no time and walked into the cave, blanketed by total darkness. They couldn't even see their own noses, let alone anything that potentially lay ahead of them in the shadows. The only sounds emanating were the sounds of their footsteps echoing into the distance, that is until FanFic Critic began humming. ''Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, swimming, swimming…''

''Stop that! You're going to get that song stuck in my head!''

''Sorry, couldn't resist.'' She giggled quietly as the two marched on.

Without warning, both of them were swept off their feet and crashed to the ground, still covered in darkness and unable to see what was going on. They tumbled and rolled along the ground before crashing against what felt like the wall on the side of the cave. ''What the flying fu…'' Nostalgia Critic began to rant until he stretched his arm out and realised that the ground beneath them was tilted at an unnatural angle, which must have been what caused them to trip. ''Why the hell is the floor slanted? How can anyone work like this?''

Despite their lack of vision, they tried to pick themselves up and stand on their own two feet, a difficult task considering the unstable ground they were walking on. FanFic Critic placed her hands on the wall of the cave, hoping that it would help keep her balance. Upon contact, the wall glowed with letters drifting against it and further down the cave like a moving painting.

At last, able to see again, the two critics watched as the letters glided against the rocky surface at a slow pace. FanFic Critic decided to inspect closer and looked at some of the words, reading them carefully and seeing that they made a somewhat constructive sentence. ''These are the stories! All the fanfiction stories are being sucked down this cave! We're definitely in the right place.''

''Oh my God, listen to this one!'' Nostalgia Critic called out in a fit of laughter as he began to read a paragraph that floated past him. ''My name is Violet Sparkle Columbus Star-Sunshine Mississippi Winchester! I am Dean and Sam's unheard of third cousin once removed and the most powerful person in the world and the girlfriend of both Cas and Crawley!'' He laughed so uncontrollably he almost fell to the floor again. ''Someone actually wrote this? Clearly, we have the next Joss Whedon here!''

FanFic Critic groaned and mumbled satirically. ''Yes, ha-ha, let's all make fun of the Mary-Sue story. Come on, we have a job to…''

''Listen to this one!'' He shouted, cutting her off. ''His large, solid, masculine ding-dong rubbed up against my juicy pastry hotdog, feeling up his wiener and making my inner-body-metallic-tasting-liquid-pumping-organ beat faster. Is this supposed to be sexy or 50 Shades of Grey the Kitchen Edition.''

''I get it, but can we just…'' The frustration in FanFic Critic's voice was building to breaking point, but that didn't stop her travelling companion from his continued mocking.

''Holy hell, this one's so badly written I can't tell if it's like this on purpose or the writer's cat walked along the keyboard. Oh, my ribs hurt!''

She was about to scold the laughing reviewer, when all of a sudden, a booming noise started to emit from at the end of the cave. The glowing writing soon darted down towards the ground before moving along and coming into contact with a metallic material that was planted into the wall of the cave. Iron cogs and pieces twisted and pumped, and steam rose from the tops of the working machine.

Neither critic knew what to make of the contraption that lay before them, a bizarre mix of Victorian steampunk and future technology, the machine had a dozen levers and switches all around it as the glowing words sunk into the cracks and bolts before disappearing completely from sight.

''I'm going to make a wild assumption and say we've found what we're looking for.'' FanFic Critic muttered.

''Well, let's take care of this!'' Nostalgia Critic took out his gun and aimed for the machine.

''Wait, hold on…''

_**BANG!** _

FanFic Critic's warning came too late, as Nostalgia Critic opened fire and the bullet then bounced off of the machine and headed right back for the Critic's forehead. He managed to avoid the projectile by ducking out of the way, but it then ricocheted off the wall behind him and towards FanFic Critic. She dodged the bullet, but it just kept bouncing all over the place, as the two did their best to avoid.

Eventually, the bullet finally lost momentum and fell to the ground, and the two could finally regain their breath. ''Right, I'm not going to do that again.'' Nostalgia Critic stated as he placed his gun back in his pocket.

''Can you just stop and think for a few seconds!'' She growled angrily at him.

''Hey, at least I'm doing something!''

''Something that almost got our heads blown off!''

Before their argument could go any further, a door behind the machine slid open and a shadowy figure stepped through. Clearly the mastermind of this whole operation, the figure took another step closer, bringing him into the light that illuminated both from the glowing words and the operating machine next to him. ''What pathetic man-animal dares to interrupt my free time I could spend bedding the best Psychlo hookers in the galaxy?'' A high-pitched voice hollered from the figure.

''Terl?'' Both Nostalgia Critic and FanFic Critic gasped in disbelief.

Recognising at least one of the voices, Terl the Psychlo stared out and caught sight of the Nostalgia Critic's bewildered face and laughed maniacally. ''Ah, Nostalgia Critic, we meet once again!''

''Oh, you've got to be kidding me! You're behind all this?''

''Indeed Critic, and…'' He noticed FanFic Critic standing beside his arch-nemesis and hesitated with his speech. ''And _you!_ Yes…you with the name…the name that is…on the tip of my two tongues, I haven't forgotten you…because I am trying to remember your name…the name that you have…which is…''

''We've never met.'' FanFic Critic stated.

Terl immediately sighed with relief. ''Oh good, you know how embarrassing it is when I try to threaten someone and I can't remember their name? It makes one look bad!''

Nostalgia Critic, not amused seeing the alien once again, waved his arms about in frustration. ''That explains the slanted ground. Terl, what the hell? That is all I can say…what…the…hell?''

''Well, you see Critic, after our last encounter which ended…rather messily for me to be blunt, I decided to start again but on a smaller scale. Build myself back up the reputation ladder of the most feared warriors throughout the galaxy…''

''Groot is a more feared warrior throughout the galaxy than you!''

Terl ignored the Nostalgia Critic's snide comments and continued. ''So I made a few business deals, met up with some of my old school buddies, and they made a few business deals. All of which led to me acquiring possession of this beautiful machine you see before you. I named her Doris! And she has the capability to absorb and destroy any kind of digital information I want. Security codes, nuclear launch codes, even passwords for your diaries that you keep hidden under your bed! Nothing is safe from Doris!''

Letting those words sink in, the two critics slowly turned to face each other, pure bewilderment written on their faces. FanFic Critic was the first to speak up. ''So let me get this straight, you have a machine that can hack, steal and delete _any_ kind of information that you command of it…and you use it to delete fan work?''

''I know,'' Terl admitted proudly. ''Diabolical, isn't it?''

''How is that diabolical?'' The critics asked simultaneously.

''There are two reasons why I decided to destroy the works of fandom, as you call it. Reason one…destroying something so personal to the man-animals of this world is a stepping-stone to destroying their very souls. Things they have created, life they have given to in the hopes of adding to the stories that they already enjoy. It would crush them completely to see all that gone, with no hope of ever getting it back!'' He squealed with delight.

''And the second reason?''

Terl's positive attitude vanished instantly, replaced by complete disgust. ''Oh, it's just awful. Have you read some of this stuff?''

Nostalgia Critic nodded and scoffed. ''I know. I saw them back there.''

''Oh, did you see the one with Violet Sparkle Winchester?'' Terl chuckled uncontrollably, as the two of them shared a good laugh like they were old friends.

It wasn't until Nostalgia Critic felt someone patting strongly on the back after his bellowing laughter that he finally stopped. FanFic Critic glared at him. ''We're here to save the fanfictions, not mock them!''

''I know,'' He replied with a weak voice, still recovering from his hooting. ''But you have to admit those ones we passed were bad.''

''That's not the point.'' Her fists balled together and were raised to her face, making it look like she was trying to stop herself from exploding. ''I am sick and tired of listening to you go on and on about how terrible fanfiction is.''

This time, Nostalgia Critic wasn't joking and took the next part of their argument seriously. ''You're sick and tired? How do you think I feel constantly having to put up with these weird and…icky stories about me?''

''This is my job! I've seen weird stuff written all the time.''

''Well, clearly not for quite a while considering you haven't posted a video in a while.''

''What's that supposed to mean?'' She questioned heatedly.

Terl rubbed his hands together with glee as he watched the two's bickering grow more intensely with every spoken word. ''Yes, now Nostalgia Critic, everything and everyone you know and…''

However, the alien's threats fell on deaf ears, with Nostalgia Critic taking a step closer to FanFic Critic. ''Shock of all shocks, I actually _did do_ a little bit of research on you while trying to find you, and I noticed that your channel's been a little inactive in the past few months.''

With over exaggerated movements, she placed her hands on her cheeks and faked a shocked expression. ''Gosh, it's almost like I have a life outside of yelling insults and references all the time.'' She said sarcastically.

''I don't yell all the time.'' He yelled loudly.

At this point, even Terl was off-put by the extent of their verbal war. ''Uh…I'm still threatening you.''

The two were still only focused on each other; with FanFic Critic being the next to vocally strike back. ''Can't you just accept that there is some creativity that goes into the making of these stories?''

''What is creative about stories that basically rehash a story already made?''

''Gee, I don't know, but it can't be any less creative than you doing unfunny sketches based on a film you didn't like.''

''Are you saying I'm uncreative? That's rich coming from you. I'm guessing that you didn't base your show and look off the Angry Video Game Nerd.''

''No, but right now I wish I did.''

''You take that back!''

The sheer volume of their roars was enough to propose the possibility of a cave-in, something that Terl couldn't afford. He reached into his metallic utility belt wrapped around his waist and pulled out a small, cylinder-like device. ''Okay, I can see that you're both going to be keeping this up for a while, but I did go to the effort of rigging this place with knock-out gas to capture anyone who would try to stop me, so I'm going to use it now.''

Finally, that was enough for the two critics to turn and gasp. ''What?''

Terl flicked the switch on the device, and a dozen little potholes opened on the walls. In the blink of an eye, the cave was filled with thick, green smoke. Nostalgia Critic and FanFic Critic tried to cover their mouths, but it was pointless, and they were both already drowsy before either of them could think of a Plan B. They collapsed in a heap on the ground as Terl chuckled maniacally.

''Yes! I've done it, now no one can stop me, no one…'' He stopped mid-laughter. With a sharp intake of breath, it suddenly dawned on him what he had done wrong. ''Ah right, I was supposed to switch on the knock-out gas _after_ I had left the vicinity…whoops.'' He crumpled to the ground instantly.

* * *

His eyes were heavy and his head was throbbing, but soon enough, Nostalgia Critic was able to peel his eyelids open despite almost being blinded by the sudden intake of light. He tried to get up, however, his body either wouldn't co-operate or something was forcing him to stay rooted to the spot.

''So you're finally awake, you pathetic man-animal!'' Terl said.

Nostalgia Critic groaned. ''Your voice is the last thing I want to hear after a serious hangover.''

The alien warlord grinned at his abductee. ''It's nice to now that my knock-out gas was a stunning success,'' He placed a hand over his mouth before whispering to himself. ''And thanks to my Psychlo biological structure I was able to wake up first,'' He turned back to his archenemy. ''With just enough time to tie up you and your companion, otherwise, that would have been quite the embarrassing defeat.''

Eventually, Nostalgia Critic had regained enough strength to move more freely or at least attempt to. His vision returned, though he was not greeted with a pleasant sight as he found himself taped to a wooden chair, with FanFic Critic in her own chair, back-to-back with him. He struggled to break free. Because of his thrashing, it caused FanFic Critic to stir and slowly come to. ''Damn it.'' He grunted in aggravation.

''Don't bother trying to escape. That tape has held together the most crooked and damaged spaceships in the galaxy. It'll take more than just the two of you to break it apart.''

''What do you want from me?''

''Not much, just for you to sit and watch and everything you and your friends have built be destroyed.'' He leant close to the Nostalgia Critic, who responded by looking away, clearly by how uncomfortable the dreadlocked alien's face was so close to his own. ''I'll be honest with you Nostalgia Critic, the biggest reason why I went through with this plan was biggest I knew it would destroy your career.''

He rolled his eyes in annoyance. ''Thanks, but I've already got the YouTube Copyright System to do that for me.''

''Hmm, this will do more than just take down a video or two of yours. You won't have any material to work off of. That nostalgic feeling you feel deep in your deepest feelings will be dead and buried. You will never recover from this, and I will take great pleasure in watching you slowly crumble and lose your sense of purpose.''

Beside them, FanFic Critic lethargically lifted her head and turned as far as she could. ''Couldn't you have just left a spam comment on his video?'' She said groggily.

''Whose side are you on?'' Nostalgia Critic yelped.

There was a serpent-like smile on Terl's face. ''I've done far worse than spam comment you. I've hurt you. And I wish to go on hurting you. I shall leave you as you left me, as you left us, marooned for all eternity in the centre of a...''

''Star Trek Two!'' Both critics called out.

''What?'' Terl inquired.

''You're quoting Star Trek Two.'' FanFic Critic responded.

''No, I'm not.''

''Yes, you are.''

''I just made it up on the spot…''

''It's literally one of the most quoted sci-fi quotes in history. A Native American turned Benedict Cucumberpatch man in frozen status for decades beat you to it.''

A lump formed in Terl's throat, unable to think of a witty response to give the two, so he instead decided to leave. It was only when he wasn't standing so close that Nostalgia Critic realised they were seated in a large white room with a single door that Terl walked towards. ''It doesn't matter. I have you two out of the way, and in a matter of minutes, every fanfiction and fan work in the world will be gone forever. Oh, and don't bother trying to escape. I have a small camera that will fly over sometimes to take a still picture. So get comfortable, you'll be here for a while.'' After those final words, he stepped through the door and locked it behind him.

Gritting her teeth, FanFic Critic tried to break free, shaking her body left and right. However, after struggling for a bit she couldn't liberate herself. A heavy sigh passed her lips and her head slumped in defeat. ''It's over.''

''Took you that long to figure out, huh?'' Nostalgia Critic responded sarcastically.

''At least I didn't give up until the end. Unlike a certain someone.''

''Hey, I tried!'' He pointed out. ''Who was the one who shot at the weird machine?''

''Yeah, look how well that turned out. A part of me thinks that you don't want to actually save fanfiction.''

''I thought it was already established that I just wanted to save my videos.''

She rolled her eyes. ''Nice to know your selfishness is still intact.''

Taking offence to her comment, he shrugged roughly in his chair, causing her chair to be yanked backwards and give her a sharp jolt of pain. ''The whole reason I got dragged into this mess in the first place was to find you and get more information for my video which is for my fans. Believe it or not, I can think about other people…I usually think of myself first, but I do still think of others.''

This time, FanFic Critic retorted by banging against her chair resulting in him getting hit in the back. He yelped in pain as she snapped. ''Then why do you have such a personal vendetta against fanfiction?''

''Because why not make something new? Why waste your time going over stuff from a movie or show that's already been made? Instead, why not try to create something new for fans that they didn't think they wanted, only for them to say how bad you've gotten over the years and demand things be the same until you can't continue your show anymore and have to go back to doing the old…'' He stopped once he realised how off-topic he was getting and hoped that he didn't reveal too much. ''Forget I said anything.''

FanFic Critic remained quiet for a brief moment. She waited for another comment to come from her prison-mate, but his reserve was noted. Eventually, she spoke up. ''You're still upset about Demo Reel.''

It wasn't a question, she knew it was the truth, and it could be confirmed as she felt him exhale heavily and slump against the back of his chair. ''Look,'' He finally spoke. ''I _have_ moved past that. It didn't work out, so what? I love being the Nostalgia Critic, and I love making my show. But I like to try something new every once in a while, to spin a new viewpoint or opinion on something otherwise I feel like I'm…''

''Going into a bit of a slump.'' She whispered.

They both sat in silence. The only sound loud enough to register in their prison room was the sound of their own muffled breathing. Nostalgia Critic found the floor much more interesting to stare at soundlessly, whilst FanFic Critic's mind put the pieces together in her head about what to say next. ''I know how you feel. I haven't done a video in a while for a number reasons. Some of them technical issues, some of them personal…and a part of me thinks I'm going stale. But you've just made me realise something.''

He turned his head curiously. ''What's that?''

''No two fanfictions are the same, to some degree. You mentioned wanting to share a new viewpoint or opinion, so what better way than to see that expressed than with millions of fans around the world sharing their own works with each other? Giving something that the original creators couldn't do. Like your reviews, you can give a different thought about the film that was never brought up. Or like my reviews, or even my fanfiction stories.''

''Wait a minute…'' He interrupted. ''You've written stories as well?''

She nodded, before a creased formed on her forehead. ''I thought you did some research on me?''

''I said a _little_ bit.''

''Right, well, I've written a couple of Sweeny Todd stories, and a Lion King one.'' She smiled as she dived into the fond memories of writing them.

Curiosity peaked within Nostalgia Critic. He tried to turn around as much as he could, a difficult task considering how well they were taped back to back. He had to give Terl some credit; at least the alien could do some competently. ''What was the Lion King story about?''

Her eyes narrowed, shocked and caught that he was showing genuine interest in this conversation. ''Uh…about Simba's first child who was killed before Lion King 2 by the outlanders, and how Simba banished them soon after. I wrote it a while ago.'' She dismissed, expecting him to throw some kind of snide comment.

He pondered the story concept. ''That…actually sounds like an interesting idea! It helps to develop the film more and add some depth that the film never had before.''

''Yeah that reminds me, are you ever going to do a Disneycember of Lion King 2?''

Suddenly, the angry side of him was back. ''How many times am I going to get asked about that?''

''Until you do it,'' She stifled a giggle and heard him grumble some kind of inaudible response. Once she was sure he'd calmed down again she resumed her point. ''It's like you said again. Some fanfiction can help develop a story further or add something that wasn't there in the beginning.''

''It's an endless cycle of creativity from creator to fans.'' He summed up.

She nodded, glad that the message was finally sinking in. ''Listen, I'm sorry about what I said to you earlier. I don't think you're uncreative. You're crude, loud, annoying, selfish, you're ego is off the charts…''

''Can I just mention what upstanding job you're doing at encouraging me?'' He cynically replied.

She ignored his statement and persisted. ''You're all those things…but you're not uncreative. And for the record, I quite liked Demo Reel.''

Nostalgia Critic's cynical mood evaporated after hearing her confession. He waited for her to say something else, but she remained silent, clearly finished with what she was trying to get across to him. Her words sunk in, and at that moment it felt like a black cloud encompassing his head had drifted away. He cleared his throat loudly. ''Maybe I was a bit judgmental…''

''A _bit_?''

''Okay, I was _extremely_ judgmental against fanfiction. I guess I was so caught up in trying to be a better creator…I forgot that I'm still a fan too. And for the record, if we get out of this and manage to save all of fandom…I wouldn't mind reading your stories.''

''Really?''

''Really.'' He nodded. The two of them were close to facing each other, at least, as close as possible considering the awkward position they were currently trapped in. A moment or two passed before Nostalgia Critic shook his head and yelled. ''My God, if we were in a fanfiction right now we'd probably be forced to make out.''

''Please don't put that mental image in my head.'' She grumbled.

''Already forgotten. Now, how are we going to get out of here?'' He asked with burning determination.

''I thought you had given up?''

''Well, now I've un-given up. So what do we do now?''

They both looked around for something that can be used to cut them free. However, other than the two of them and the chairs they were seated in, the room was empty. Nostalgia Critic jerked in his seat a bit, causing FanFic Critic to be pulled back harshly. She was about to make a comment when it dawned on her. ''We can move the chair.''

''What?''

''We can move the chair towards the door. We just have to time our movements correctly. I swing left, you swing right, got it.''

''Right.'' He nodded. Suddenly, FanFic Critic swung in her chair before he was ready, causing his chair to bang against his back roughly. ''Ow, no I meant right as in correct, not the direction right.''

''My bad.''

Eventually, the two of them worked into a rhythm that helped them to graze the legs of the chair closer towards the door, their only exit from this plain hellhole. Left and right, left and right, they were making slow progress. Unfortunately, it was too slow. ''We're not going to make it.'' FanFic Critic commented.

''We're going to have to move faster.'' Nostalgia Critic said. He jerked his seat forward a little too hard with FanFic Critic unprepared. They were both caught off balance and before they could stop, they were falling to the ground and landed with a loud thud. ''Son of a-''

''I can't move.'' She kicked the ground, hoping that they could push each other along. But it wasn't going to work with their shared weight. ''Now what do we do?''

He huffed. ''I don't know. Nothing short of a divine intervention can help us now.''

Right on cue, they were both nearly blinded as an incredible ray of light lit the already bright room. Unable to cover their eyes, they looked away from the source until they could feel the heat of it die down, and suddenly an echoing chorus sang throughout the room.

' _Santa Christ, Santa Christ, we all love Santa Christ…'_

A recognisable bellying laugh caught Nostalgia Critic's attention. He turned around and was happier than ever before to see a familiar bearded man in a white gown and Christmas hat. ''Santa Christ?''

''Ho-ho-ho, hello.'' He greeted merrily.

Then Nostalgia Critic noticed that someone else was standing beside his occasional friend. Wearing a white gown as well, but with a halo above her head and angel wings across her back. ''And…'' He was about to salute until something caught his eye about this woman. ''Why do you look like the FanFic Critic?''

Hearing this, the female critic shifted herself around so that she could see their two saviours, and the feminine one she knew immediately. ''Lesbian Jesus?''

''Hello, my child.'' She acknowledged in an overly pleasant and soft voice.

Nostalgia Critic couldn't stop a screech from escaping him. ''Her name is Lesbian Jesus?''

Ignoring her partner in crime's immature laughter, she looked to Lesbian Jesus in shock. ''I can't believe you're here. Wait, you and Santa Christ know each other?''

''Of course,'' Santa Christ said. ''We occasionally hang out and like to meet up to play some party games every now and again.''

''I always win.'' Lesbian Jesus commented.

The bearded man hesitated before forcing a laugh. ''Ho ho, she's a real kidder. No, in the eyes of all, Santa Christ always wins…''

''Except when he plays me.''

Irritably, he turned to face her. ''Okay, you're stepping over the line…''

Unafraid of Santa Christ's growing annoyance, she continued to poke fun at him. ''Would you like to tell them about the time we played _Strip Poker_ with some friends?''

His eyes bulged open. ''We said we would never talk about that incident again…''

''Hey!'' Nostalgia Critic called out, grabbing their attention. ''As much as we would _love_ to lay here and listen to you two banter, we kind of have a mission to do, and we'd really like your help right now. In fact, it would have been great if you helped a few minutes earlier.''

Lesbian Jesus held out her arms gracefully. ''But then you would not have learned your valuable moral lesson for the day.''

''Okay, valuable moral lesson learned. Can you get us out of here or not?'' He rushed impatiently.

Santa Christ stepped forward, holding out his cane. ''Of course, I'm Santa Christ.''

Suddenly, a sharp blade jutted from the end of his cane and he swung downwards before either critic could protest. The tape was cleanly cut, allowing both of them to break free and stand back on their own two feet. They ripped the last bits of tape off themselves. ''Thanks, Santa Christ, now we have to move before Terl's camera picks us out. How long do we have until it comes by?''

Lesbian Jesus took a moment to think. ''It'll be here in about fifty minutes.''

The urgency from the critics vanished quickly. FanFic Critic scoffed. ''We have plenty of time to escape and reach Terl.''

''How has this guy been built to conquer galaxies?''

Santa Christ interjected. ''Now, you both must hurry. Terl has almost destroyed all of fandom.''

Lesbian Jesus nodded. ''Yes, it would be a shame if all the fanfiction I haven't read yet was gone.''

''Yeah, I can imagine what type of fanfiction that is.'' FanFic Critic quietly commented.

With a gentle smile, Lesbian Jesus gazed at her. ''On another subject, my child, if you or Susan ever wish to join me in a game of strip poker…''

Raising her hand to stop her, FanFic Critic replied. ''Thanks, but we'll pass.''

''Well,'' Santa Christ spoke up. ''We've fulfilled our obligated crossover cameo. Farewell.''

And just as quickly as they appeared, the two holy figures disappeared in a blinding flash of light with the booming chorus fading into nothingness and leaving the two critics alone in the room once again. FanFic Critic stood emotionless, while Nostalgia Critic looked at her with a confused expression. ''So…just to be clear, you don't want me to bring up the fact that someone who looks exactly like you just tried to hit on you and your identical-looking cousin?''

''Never again.''

''Okay, noted.''

**To Be Concluded...**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you'd like, you can follow my original stories on Wattpad. My penname is Thomas-LF. Thank you for your time, if you do read them, I hope you enjoy them.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing (unfortunately); all rights and characters in this fic belong to Doug Walker, Megan Wessels and other respective owners and creators. I gain no profit from this; it's purely for fun.
> 
> If you enjoyed this chapter and want to know more about my work, you can like the Rurrlock-God of Power Facebook Page.

**Chapter 3**

The machine was working into overdrive, as steam erupted out of the top like a volcano. Terl watched jubilantly, he knew that victory would be his soon enough. It was difficult for him to contain his excitement, jumping up and about like a little schoolgirl he clapped his hands together. ''Oh joy, I knew that all those years of training at the most prestigious military academies in the galaxy would benefit me someday. I wasn't sure in what way it would benefit me, and I have to admit, this isn't quite what I imagined, but still…it is glorious!'' His high-pitched shriek echoed loudly along with the sounds of the continuing gears and cogs of the machine.

Just then, a voice called out behind him. ''Boy, ham it up anymore and you could be the lead for a new Babe film.''

Terl's elated mood disappeared immediately after hearing that voice. For the alien, Nostalgia Critic's voice was the equivalent of a scorpion sting in the Psychlo privates. He balled his fists and turned around to find the two critics standing before him, ready for action. ''Curse you. How did you both escape my inescapable prison?''

''Were you really asking us that unironically?'' Nostalgia Critic snapped.

FanFic Critic gently nudged him. ''Unironically isn't the correct term.''

''Now's not the time to be a grammar-Nazi!'' He shot back whilst retrieving his handgun from inside his jacket.

Upon seeing his foe's weapon, Terl scoffed and looked on smugly. ''You must be joking. Has that already puny brain inside of your pathetic man-animal skull shrunk in the wash? You can't shoot Doris with her force field up.''

Now Nostalgia Critic and FanFic Critic were the ones with the smug looks. ''Maybe not, but I can shoot you.'' He stated and pointed his gun at Terl.

Terl's face filled with pure dread. ''Ah…it's starting to come to my attention that I didn't properly think all this through.''

''Nothing new.'' Nostalgia Critic squeezed the trigger and Terl closed his eyes ready for the bullet to strike.

However, to everyone's shock, the gun not only didn't fire, but it somehow slipped from Nostalgia Critic's grip and dropped to the ground. They all looked at the discarded weapon. ''What just hap-'' He stopped and felt some tingling in his shooting hand. He looked and saw that just like the gun, his hand was beginning to fade and disappear, slowly going up towards his wrist. ''Why am I going all Back to the Future?''

Fanfic Critic didn't have a response. She was just as dumbfounded as he was. Out of curiosity, she inspected her own hand and found that she was suffering the same fate. Her hand dwindled like a puff of smoke, slowly rising to her wrist and gradually moving up her arm. She used her other hand to feel for anything, but it passed through completely. They both started to panic as both their hands were now disappearing from existence.

Watching on, Terl raised his hands defensively. ''Whatever this is, I swear it wasn't my fault for once.'' His attention was turned back to the machine when a loud ringing buzzed in his ear. ''Doris is nearly finished.''

Running out of time, Nostalgia Critic was really starting to panic. ''What do you we do?''

''I don't know.''

Not wanting to waste this opportunity to gloat, Terl turned to the disappearing critics and smirked proudly. ''I'm not sure what's happening, but I'll take it. Not only will I destroy everything you've worked so hard for, Nostalgia Critic, but I also get to watch you be destroyed literally. Oh, happy days!'' He raised a triumphant hand in the air and hooted wildly. It felt like nothing could go wrong for him now…that is until he noticed that his raised hand had disappeared from sight. ''Um…why's this happening?''

Seeing whatever was happening effect Terl, it dawned on both the critics. They slowly turned to face each other, coming to the same realisation. ''That machine thinks that we're…'' Nostalgia Critic started.

Terl turned to them, going into a full-fledged panic as he slowly disappeared like his enemies. ''What? What? What does Doris think of me? I've been good to her, I swear it.''

FanFic Critic answered. ''It considers all of fan-related creations.''

''What?'' Terl shrieked.

''You're a parody character based on another character from a film adapted from a book,'' She replied. ''It is using the term _fan-created_ loosely enough that it can consider us in the same category because of our shows. Doris thinks we're characters!''

Terl smirked obliviously. ''Well, I have been called quite a character…''

''Terl!'' Both critics shouted making the alien jump. ''It'll steal and delete you as well if you don't stop it. This has gone too far, you have to turn it off!'' Nostalgia Critic yelled.

''For once, I agree with your hypothesis.'' The dreadlocked alien rushed over to Doris's side. The dissolving Nostalgia Critic and FanFic Critic watched on as Terl flicked a couple of switches and pressed some buttons. Before long, a thin green line gleamed over the machine's surface from top to bottom. ''I've turned off Doris's force field.''

By now, the lower half of FanFic Critic's arms, all the way up to her elbow had disappeared, and a gaping transparent hole was starting to grow around her waist. ''Commentary later, switch off now!'' She told him.

He nodded and headed to the furthest lever on the machine. Thankfully he still had one usable hand and reached for the lever…but stopped before pulling it. He seemed to hesitate. This didn't sit well with the critics. ''What are you waiting for?'' Nostalgia Critic called out. ''Just pull it!''

Terl remained motionless. For a split second, it looked like he was about to pull the large switch down and end all of this. However, the two critics were left in shock when Terl let go and turned around to face them with a sneer.

''What are you doing?'' Nostalgia Critic screamed at the top of his lungs. ''You'll disappear too you stupid ass prick!''

Terl's voice was quiet. ''Even if I disappear forever if there's a chance to create a world where you will not longer exist, where not even a plot hole can save you, I'll watch it happen over and over a thousand times if I could.''

For the very first time, Nostalgia Critic felt genuine fear staring into Terl's eyes. The Psychlo's smirk never faltered, even as Nostalgia Critic and FanFic Critic looked at each other and tried to think up a new idea.

''What do we do now? Even if I had another weapon, I don't think I can use it.'' He cried out. The fading was now moving past his elbows and a hole formed over his chest.

FanFic Critic was finding it difficult to consider other options in her panicked state. Like her friend, a weapon wouldn't be much use even if she had…then she remembered. ''Hold on,'' She awkwardly lowered her body and used her elbows to pull out her Sweeney Todd razor from her jacket. ''I hope this works.'' As fast as she could, she pushed the shave hilt against her chin and fumbled it open to reveal the blade. Using what little strength she had left to muster, she tossed the blade towards the machine.

Everything seemed to move in slow motion as the blade spun and flew in the air. During its flight, it also began to slowly disappear. The critics held their breath and watched. Terl, refusing to let his plans be stopped, jumped forward to block the blade. FanFic Critic's heart skipped a beat, either from the fear that Terl was going to intercept their only hope or because a new hole formed over her chest. The razor would have been caught within Terl's grasp…if his other hand didn't suddenly fade away as well, causing it to zoom past. Nothing could stop it now, as the blade finally reached its target and sunk into the machine.

Sparks and electric surges shot out from the machine. With a sudden burst of energy exploding from Doris, all three of them were blasted off their feet and sent flying.

It was daunting to experience quietness after all they had just been through. But to the critics, that silence was utter bliss. Nostalgia Critic groaned and lifted himself up and rubbed his sore head. ''Finally, listening to that racket was like being in an endless Michael Bay marathon…'' He stopped when he realised that he was rubbing his head with a hand that supposedly disappeared. He extended his arm and was filled with joy when he saw that he was back to normal. ''Righty, I've missed you.''

As he proceeded to kiss his hand and as much of his arm as he could, FanFic Critic stood back up, breathing a sigh of relief to find that she was also back to normal. It was difficult to tell if that was her closest brush with death without actually dying, but this was definitely top three. She then felt her phone vibrating in her pocket.

She answered it and was instantly greeted with a memorable voice. _''Critic, are you okay?''_ She had never been so happy or relieved to hear Susan's voice.

''Yeah, I'm fine. Nostalgia Critic too.''

'' _Bugger,''_ Susan grunted, earning a light chuckle from her cousin. _''Anyway, the real reason why I'm calling you is to let you know that whatever you did worked.''_

''You mean…''

'' _All the fanfiction and fanart is back. Every site has everything back the way it was. Your videos are all back up and running perfectly too. Oh, and Nostalgia Critic's as well.''_ She didn't sound too enthused about the last part.

With a bright smile, FanFic Critic felt like the weight of the world was lifted off her shoulders. ''Thanks, Susan.''

'' _You're welcome. And…uh…I'm not sure if this is related, but will you be able to explain why for a brief second it felt like I was disappearing off the face of the Earth?''_

She grimaced, fearing that this would have happened. After all, if it affected her, why wouldn't it affect Susan?

Before she could answer, she heard a wounded groan coming a few feet away, and she saw Terl weakly picking himself off up the ground. Through gritted teeth and a forced smile, she answered Susan. ''I promise when I get home I'll tell you everything, but for now, Nostalgia Critic and I have some unfinished business to take care of.''

'' _Oh God, he's not about to kiss you is he?''_ Susan questioned with obvious disgust in her voice.

''Eww, no!''

'' _Thank bloody goodness. Take care.''_

FanFic Critic hung up, just as Nostalgia Critic was done making out with his restored arm. He too noticed Terl slowly getting up. With a knowing smirk plastered on his lips, he and FanFic Critic strutted over towards Terl. The Psychlo didn't see them until their shadows loomed over him, and he was on his knees staring up at two very ticked-off looking critics. He gulped. ''In my defence…''

''You literally just tried to wipe us from existence, there's no possible way to defend yourself.''

* * *

The classic Nostalgia Critic title card and opening theme music played out, revealing the red-tie wearing critic in his usual seat ready for today's work. ''Hello, I'm the Nostalgia Critic. I remember it so you don't have to. Now...today's editorial video was going to be about another subject entirely, but similar in a way. Why the sudden change you ask?'' He quickly felt self-satisfied and straightened his attire for effect. ''Well, it came about while I was busy saving all of fandom from a sinister evil. Now, I'm not expecting any kind of reward, but I wouldn't object if anyone wanted…''

His video was cut off when FanFic Critic popped up on screen and cleared her throat.

Nostalgia Critic froze and rolled his eyes. ''Okay, so I had a little bit of assistance from my special guest today.''

''Your modesty knows no bounds.'' She said satirically at him before getting down to business and addressing her viewers. _''Hello, I'm the FanFic Critic. I read it, you listen. And what the Nostalgia Critic is trying to say is that the original concept of this video was to talk about the best-selling book 50 Shades of Grey.''_

He faked a laugh. ''And I'm _so disappointed_ that I won't get to talk about that.''

Ignoring his jabs at the book, FanFic Critic continued. _''Now many people don't actually know this but before 50 Shades was a published book, it was actually a Twilight fanfiction published online.''_

Nostalgia Critic took his turn to comment, as the two critics smoothed into a flowing back and forth discussion to the viewers at home. ''There's still some debate amongst people on how to define the term fanfiction properly. But the easiest way to sum it up is a creative work that is created by fans of an already existing fandom. This can be anything from written stories to artwork based on existing characters, hell, it can even go as far as people role-playing as certain characters.''

'' _It's hard to guess when fanfiction truly began since you could even make the argument that ancient tales of Homer or adaptions from the Brothers Grimm fairy tales were technically fanfictions as they took pre-existing work and gave them a new spin or told the story from a different angle. Though modern fanfiction can be seen truly taking off with Sherlock Holmes and later Star Trek.''_

''Star Trek in particular really struck a cord because of the new technology at the time…television. Whereas before with movies being a gathering between the upper class, television could expand to almost everyone, and so shows reached a wider audience like never before. Yet all that doesn't compare to the Internet nowadays, where you could spread your thoughts and ideas to the entire world.''

'' _Fandoms are like a community. People could not only discuss the things they liked about a certain book or film or television show, they could tease the ideas of what-if scenarios. Expand the worlds they loved so much to new heights, where these ideas couldn't be limited by budget or executive intervention.''_

''It sounds pretty liberating and engaging. So then why does fanfiction get such a bad rap? Well, there's the obvious legal issue that all companies fear. Understandable seeing as many of these fanfictions is based on copyrighted work. But fanfiction does fall under fair use protection, not to mention that it's also non-profit, so the writers aren't really getting anything out of it financial-wise. No, there are a couple of other reasons why fanfiction is generally seen in a bad light.''

'' _First and foremost, fanfiction is written by the fans. They're not professional writers with years of practice or a master's degree in writing…maybe some are, but that's a small majority. So obviously many of it is not going to be on the same level of film scripts or published novels. It can just come down to a teenager sitting at the computer writing a chapter one afternoon. Because of this overall more casual quality of writing and story-telling, the general public will look down on these works as either simple at best, or at worst…abominations. And that's me keeping my language PG.''_

''Not to mention some fans can be so protective of something they love, sometimes too overprotective. If they come across a story they feel doesn't represent their character the right way, or the story isn't going in the direction they thought it might, they consider it to be inferior and not worth anyone's time. But that's just some fan's opinions. What about the professionals working in the industry? Some are fine with it. Some actually encourage it. Though of course, there are some writers who are very against the idea of some random person taking characters or a story they dedicated so much time creating and _messing with them_.''

'' _Again, as long as the fanfiction writer isn't silly and starts making money where they shouldn't, and plays along safely with fair-use laws, there's no issue with copyright. But some professionals use the excuse that a fanfiction writer should dedicate their time to writing their_ own _stuff, and not something from another person. They think it worked out so well for them, it has to work for others, and also they think it's not good practice to write a story using pre-existing characters. But with that statement, it shows that some people completely miss the point of fanfiction.''_

''The whole point on fanfiction is to tell the stories the original writers couldn't. Whether it be something like imaging a group of characters in another timeline altogether or showing what happens to our heroes after the story is over, or showing the development of a background character that one fan saw so much potential in. And sometimes, _they do_ write about their own made-up characters interacting with the already established characters.'' He then started talking sarcastically. ''But of course, if she's a female original character or a Star Wars lead, she's automatically a Mary Sue.''

'' _Unless it's just outright copying the story word for word, which seems more stupid and time-wasting than anything else, fanfiction stories are brand-new stories. They make you see things from a different viewpoint that you never thought of before, or can even grip you in a way fandom that the source material never did.''_

''But of course, there's the biggest argument against fanfiction…it's terribly written. Maybe people will read one poorly written fanfic and immediately label it schlock or a wet-dream on paper…screen.'' He corrected before continuing. ''But that's the equivalent of saying all films are bad because you watched one bad one, or the same with reading one bad book. You can't sum up all fanfiction after reading just one, or even a few dozen. Just as there is bad fanfiction there is also really good fanfiction. In fact, some of them can actually better than the very thing they were inspired from. If a canon story has been going down a less than pleasing path, fans can take it upon themselves to create a new storyline that they feel should have happened, and it can sometimes turn out better.''

'' _Onceuponatime.''_ FanFic Critic mumbled in between exaggerated coughs.

Nostalgia Critic stared at her confusedly. ''That wasn't in the script.''

She shrugged her shoulders. _''What? I coughed.''_

''Mm-hmm, sure you did. Anyways, not only are some fanfiction writers providing quality work for other fans, they can even go on to work in film and TV, or even publish their own books. Some of them are actually re-writes of a fanfiction they once uploaded.''

'' _People and even society itself tend to look down on fanfiction and fanfiction writers for these reasons, not realising that these fans are taking the time to create something they love and are so passionate about. There are bad fanfictions, I wouldn't have a show if there weren't, but it can still be a way for people to make friends or express themselves creatively.''_

''Now…I confess I was also in that kind of mind-set. I was so busy with trying to push the limits of my creative professionalism, that I think I forgot that in the end…I'm still a fan too. Professional writers and directors are fans. Fanfiction is getting more and more mention in books, cartoons, whatever. Because those who grew up in that generation are now becoming creators themselves. People are starting to recognise that fans who put so much into what they love are a blessing.''

'' _Whether a fanfiction story has millions of views worldwide, or it's something shared with that one friend you know, it's worth it.''_

''I'm the Nostalgia Critic, and I would like to thank my special guest for joining me today.''

'' _Thanks, and I'm the FanFic Critic. Signing off for now.''_

And with that, their videos were cut off from their viewers, leaving the two critics to talk alone. Nostalgia Critic stretched his back. ''Well, glad that's finally over.''

'' _I'm definitely going to sleep well tonight after nearly vanishing from the physical world altogether.''_ FanFic Critic paused for a moment as something crept in the back of her mind. She threw a small smile at her buddy. _''That was a nice little confession you made.''_

''Ha, yeah, I think they bought it. I find being sappy like that tends to get more views.'' He chortled but stopped when he saw the serious glare coming from FanFic Critic. He raised his arms in mock defence. ''Relax, I'm kidding. Yes, I did mean what I said. Big shock, I can be wrong sometimes.''

'' _Only sometimes.''_ She raised an eyebrow.

He narrowed his eyes at her for a little bit. After that little banter, he asked her curiously. ''So, are you going to go back to making more videos?''

Her eyes drifted sideways and she pursed her lips, thinking for a moment. _''We'll see what the future holds. I guess I just needed a little adventure to kick me out of my rut. Besides, as long as no more mad-alien morons threaten to destroy all fanfiction, I'm not going to run out of them anytime soon.''_ She chuckled. _''By the way, what did you do with Terl?''_

A mischievous smirk formed across Nostalgia Critic's face. ''Oh, I put him in a place where I think he can put his talents to good use.''

* * *

''I believe in America,'' Terl yelled proudly whilst waving his hand above his head dramatically. ''America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom but I taught her never to dishonour her family…''

He was soon interrupted by a calm, monotone voice speaking over him. ''No, no, no, this is not right at all.''

Terl stropped and stamped his foot, turning around to face his director. ''Mister Shyamalan, I don't think this is going to work.''

''Whatever do you mean?'' The masked director, M. Night Shyamalan asked. He walked onto the large theatre stage to stand close to his uncooperative actor.

''I'm just not sure I can go through with your direction.''

''It is very simple. I just want you to sound as drone and static as possible while staring blankly into the distance like a lost puppy. You are throwing too much emotion into your words.''

''That's the whole point of acting!'' Terl screeched. ''And really? Are we rebooting Godfather now? Is nothing sacred in Hollywood anymore?''

''Well, our test audience seems to love it!'' Shyamalan responded and turned to point upwards towards a high row of seats, where the theatre's single occupant watches on bouncily.

''Oh my God, this is the greatest movie I've ever seen in my life!'' Chester A. Bum called out from his seat.

Terl felt like he was about to burst into tears when his director turned to face him once again. ''I was recommended you, and you are going to see this through to the end. Not to mention, you have been signed on for five sequels and any potential spin-off films. The producers are hoping we can make this into a cinematic universe. I hear there's talk of a crossover with the upcoming Shawshank Redemption prequel.''

No longer able to hold it back, Terl burst into tears.

* * *

'' _Ouch.''_ FanFic Critic grimaced.

''What? You feel sorry for him?''

'' _Not at all. Just ouch. Hate to be in his shoes.''_ She couldn't suppress a chuckle. Even if it was a fate worse than death, it was no less than he deserved. Suddenly, her attention was turned elsewhere when an email popped up…one linked to her fanfiction account. _''Oh, speak of the devil, I just got a review on my Lion King fanfic.''_

Mildly, Nostalgia Critic nodded. ''Speak of the devil indeed.''

FanFic Critic opened up the email and was baffled to find what was inside. _''It's an anonymous reviewer…''_ Her voice drifted off as she turned to look at Nostalgia Critic.

''You better read it, they might have liked it. As for me, I think it's time to say goodbye.''

She wanted to turn her attention back to the email, but something about the way it suddenly appeared and Nostalgia Critic's untroubled manner had her staring back at him. _''Yeah…I guess it is. You take care.''_

''You too. And if we do meet again, let it not be when we're about to get vaporised into a potentially endless void.''

'' _Indeed.''_

Their video feed was cut off, severing their connection. FanFic Critic now had the opportunity to read her new review. She wouldn't be able to thank her reviewer, seeing as it was anonymous, but she wasn't an idiot. With Nostalgia Critic's behaviour and the words written in the review, she had a pretty good idea of whom it was that brought a little smile to her face.

' _This is a pretty good story. Obviously, you're a creative person. Until next time, take care.'_

**The End!**

**Author's Note:**

> If you'd like, you can follow my original stories on Wattpad. My penname is Thomas-LF. Thank you for your time, if you do read them, I hope you enjoy them.


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